Dear Supporters,
On July 3rd, I sat with my family at a park on one of the lakes in our area watching a colorful array of fireworks and contemplating the blessings of being a free man. It is one of the things I hope never to take for granted again.
My experience of 893 days in a Taliban jail is one I trust I’ll never have to relive, but one I hope has defined and refined me in important ways which I’m now seeking to live out in the world outside my cell block. Lessons of faith, humanity, value and identity continue to percolate in my mind as I come down from the heightened emotions of the experience in the safety of family, friends and freedom.
Of course, real freedom goes beyond being on the right side of a jail cell. It includes the liberty which comes from forgiving one’s enemies, from letting go and looking forward, from walking in true identity and purpose.
My biggest complaint is a buzzing throughout my nerves (generically called “neuropathy”) and trouble sleeping. A trauma-informed doctor recently helped me put this in context. I was exposed to high levels of the stress hormone cortisol almost continually for long amounts of time. I was hyper-vigilant and in a “fight-or-flight” frame, never knowing what was going to happen next or when and how it would end. All of this will take a while to come down off of. At the same time, the doctor recognized that my practices of gratitude, establishing routines, showing kindness and forgiveness likely made the difference in how well I am doing now.
Those practices were very important to me during captivity. I passed each 24-hour period with great difficulty on many days, especially during those periods when I was held alone. I spaced out my reading and re-reading of the limited supply of books, exercised, sang songs, wrote and memorized poetry and short stories, kept the spider in the corner of my cell supplied with insects, and thought deeply about the things that are most important in life. The practice of silence and solitude and the enjoyment of the mundane, while taxing and unnerving, is something I hope to keep with me back in the rat-race of our world. It helped me survive.
Here on this side of things I have become aware of the incredible efforts that a whole host of people put into securing my release. While I spent many days feeling alone and forgotten, a small army of people across multiple countries never stopped working. Recently I had a chance to visit Washington DC and thank some of those people in person, including public officials and lawmakers from both the Biden and Trump administrations. The Qatari government also played a key role in brokering a deal. Non-profit support groups have been amazing in the months since. And of course I can’t say enough about my wife, who championed the entire effort from beginning to end. There is no greater statement to her love, loyalty and commitment to the values and purposes we founded our marriage upon.
Many of you played a role as well. If you ever wrote your Congressman, prayed for me, offered a kind gesture to my family or wore a FreeRyanCorbett bracelet, you have my heartfelt thanks.
Being the recipient of such kindnesses and generosity of time and resources continues to have a profound impact on me. I can only hope to be the best version of myself moving forward, to live well and big-heartedly in this world. That is how I will give back.
God showed me the truth that when we are weak, he is strong. That strength carried me through the experience and is with me now on days when stresses and anxieties try to weigh me down.
We can stick a little ‘d’ in the hashtags now, because FreeRyanCorbett is now Freed Ryan Corbett and a very grateful man.
Thanks again,
Ryan
